Patent for Greatest Invention of Year Rejected

The German Patent Office has recently turned down the greatest invention of the year just because it's "evil", but the good news is that there is no reason for this nearly perfect insterment of control can't be used without a patent. In fact, if we use it on the people at the patent office we can probably get the second attempted pushed through in a few hours.

The device is a simple GPS transceiver that goes under your skin. This of course is already a useful device for control as it allow the government, or in my case a criminal overlord, to track your every movement, but he has taken it one step farther by putting a smal amount of cyanide that could be remotly triggered.

"the chip could be used to track terrorists, criminals, fugitives, illegal immigrants, political dissidents, domestic servants and foreigners overstaying their visas." the inventor said.

What he didn't point out was how useful the combonation of the two could be. Consider how simple it would be to simply connect the GPS tracking system to the cyanide inside. As a criminal overlord I could set it to trigger when too many people gathered togother, if someone wasn't at a brainwashing session on time, or if they came to close to my secret lair, just to name a few.

Of course removal could be a small problem, though it would be less than you might think since setting it to go off if anyone went into a hospital is an option but the better solution is to simply implant three of the devices into a person and have each triggered by the removal of either of the other two. I'll tell them about the second one, but the third will be our little secret.

The way I see this working is a sort of viral marketing campain. I implant a few dozen people without telling them of the cyanide then once I have the ability to kill them with a push of the button they begin to implant more people, slowly at first but with each additional implant it becomes a little faster.

Of course this ramp up could be dramatically decreased if I can simply make the government understand how useful GPS devices in its soldiers would be. Think about it, you can help locate prisoners of war, better monitor the troops on the field and make it easier for your automated drones to know who is on your side.

So, if anyone is interested in a free GPS tracking device leave a note. You'll never get lost again. it can also be implanted in children to avoid kidnapping, or even your pets.

Story : Fox News