Nintento Assaults American Way of Life

With the Nintendo DS and the Wii, Nintendo has retaken it position of importance in the video game industry which is why their newest games bother me so much. The DS is the prime offender with two games which recently came out, "Personal Trainer: Math"and "Personal Trainer: Cooking" as well as the Wii Fit.
These games are an assault on everything that video games stand for. Video games are supposed to involve sitting idly for hours in front of a game with warm Mountain Dew and a half eaten Pizza, while pretending to run over people and get in gunfights with the cops, but these new games are problematic.
First there is the attack on Americas plan to become the world's largest civilization not by number, but by mass. Until recently this plan has been working perfectly and many Americans have stepped up to the bar(usually a buffet) and become the mass equivalent of two or even three Oriental people, and while many have stubbornly refused the patriotic call to massive weight gain video games have always been on our side.
Is it surprising then that the company who has been getting us out of the chairs and onto our feet is a Japanese company? I think not, they even want to make us better at math. this is clearly a cultural attack on our God given right to be fat, lazy and stupid and I for one won't stand for it. (Is fact I don't stand for much, it's part of the fat, lazy thing)

Original article at MSN
dark sideElton GahrComment