How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Remake
Twenty years ago a new religion appeared in Hollywood California. This new religion taught that new ideas are one of the greatest evils of the modern world. A few have refused to be converted to this new idea, but only a hand full, the remainder not only converted but have followed the most basic tenant of their religion by steadfastly refusing to create any movie with an original storyline.
Every year their devotion to this religious cause becomes more and more impressive as it becomes more clear just how absurd the recycling of these ideas has become.
Among the most recent attempts to keep the movie industry alive under this moral regime are the rebooting of several old franchises, including Star Trek, Transformers, Speed Racer, The Day the Earth Stood Still, V, Street Fighter, and Scooby Doo.
We must commend these people for the religious devotion it takes to spend a year of your life creating a Scooby Doo movie. Just the idea of such religious devotion nearly brings me to tears and yet it is common for these devotes to be attacked on the Internet by people who do not understand the courage it takes to follow their convictions to such extremes.
Yet for the true followers of this religion that is not enough. It is for this reason that in the next years they will be releasing three "new" Jane Austin movies. Zombie Pride and Prejudice, Alien Pride and Prejudice and Time Travel Pride and Prejudice.
It is time that we stop attacking these deeply moral people. We may disagree with their religious beliefs but America is built on tolerance for ideas we do not agree with and though many in hollywood with claim that this religion does not exist I ask you, is there any other reasonable explanation for the rumors of the remake of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"